Where Do You Want To Be?

You don't look back, just keep looking forward,
Until the way ahead becomes too dark to see.
Then, as you glance back over your shoulder,
You see the place where you really want to be.

More Teenage Driving

I put this on facebook earlier this evening, but since not everyone who reads my blog is friends with me on facebook, I decided to post it here as well.

Sam and I always have very interesting conversations. Just ask my co-workers--they put up with my telling them all the witty things Sam says. This evening, while Sam was driving, we had this short conversation...

Me: To me, a good driving trip is when I don't have to correct you on anything.

Sam: To me, a good driving trip is when I make you yell, "SAMUEL!!!" at least three times.

Chronic Pain

I've never been one to suffer much from pain, rarely even had a headache, until the last few years. My mom was in pain a lot due to arthritis and fibromyalgia, but I didn't have as much sympathy for her as I should have. A few years ago, I began experiencing muscle aches all over my body, and the last year or so they have gotten much worse. I used to be very active and love to play sports. Now, pain keeps me from doing so many things, and makes me feel horrible for days if I go ahead and do what I want to do.

A previous doctor of mine said it was probably fibromyalgia, without doing any tests since I didn't have insurance, and I had all the symptoms. Talking with friends of mine with fibromyalgia, it sure does seem like a possibility. My new doctor is taking time to do some tests, and I'm glad she is. The MRI I had last month came back normal. My lab work has indicated deficiencies in a couple different vitamins, so I'm taking those now to see if increased levels will ease my pain. My insurance company sent a note to my doctor indicating that one of my prescription meds could cause muscle aches, so I'm going a month without it to see if it makes a difference. So far, nothing has helped.

Last night my arms and legs felt as though I had been working out with weights much too heavy for me. They were weak, limp, and very achy. I took a Lortab and went to bed. At least I was able to get a good (and long) night's sleep. This morning, when I awoke, my arms and legs felt better, but the muscles in my torso were hurting very badly! It felt like I was being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor. (When I told Sam that, he asked how I knew what it felt like since I've never had a boa constrictor squeezing me.)

Along with the pain, I'm having some strange neurological symptoms. I have numb spots on each leg and one arm. Periodically, I have shocks shoot through my body. When they are in my back, they shake my whole body, and I look like I'm having some kind of fit. Also, whenever I laugh really hard (which is several times a day), I start to black out and feel like I'm about to faint.

All of this is very disconcerting, not to mention scary. And, a diagnosis seems to be a long ways off. Those of you who pray, please say a word or two for me and for my doctor to know what tests to do and what to look for. Thanks!

Teenage Driver

This past Wednesday, I was the best mom in the world. For several months leading up to that day, I was the worst mom in the world. Wednesday, Sam "finally" got his learner's permit. Since he's already 16 years and 3 months old, it really was about time. (Circumstances kept us from being able to get it sooner, and quite frankly, I wasn't ready yet.)

During the past several months, we made many trips to large, empty parking lots where Sam could practice driving without the risk of running into anything; and last semester he took Driver's Ed at school. So, he was more than ready to get behind the wheel.

Everything went very smoothly at the DMV. He passed the written test with no problem at all, and he drove us home. That was his first experience driving my 5-speed on the road. In Driver's Ed, he was able to drive an automatic on the road, but this was a new experience for him and for me. Although he did very well, I was a little shaken by the time we got home.

It would be much easier, at this stage of life, to have an automatic, but I so love my Mustang! Thankfully, Sam has done much better each time he has had the opportunity to drive it, and I am very proud of him!

"Regal"

If someone were to describe you in one word, what would that word be? I can think of several one-word descriptions for myself -- clutzy, funny, forgetful, caring, pudgy, short, and the list goes on…

At my mom’s funeral, nine years ago, those present were given the opportunity to eulogize. One of mom’s high-school classmates stood and said that Mom could be described by the word “Regal”. And, she was absolutely right! Regal means belonging to or befitting a supreme ruler. That fits so well with Mom’s name, Patricia, which means of noble descent. My mom was the most ladylike lady I’ve ever known, and she always carried and conducted herself as if she were royalty.

Of course, she was and is royalty. When she accepted Christ as her Savior, she became a child of the King of Kings. Now, she is in her royal home in Heaven.

Charity

What is Charity? In our society, the word is most often used to describe giving to a non-profit organization or to people less fortunate than ourselves. While that is a good example of what charity does, it doesn't convey the full meaning of the word. In the Bible, the word "charity" is used to denote a Christ-like love, the Greek word "agape".

Nowadays, the word "love" is vastly overused. We "love" everything from our pets to sports teams to foods to video games. You get the picture. So, when we say we love another person, the word has lost much of its value. I Corinthians 13 is called the love chapter because it describes what love does. In that chapter, the word used for love is the word "charity". In his sermon this morning, my pastor encouraged us to all read verses 4-7 and substitute our names for the word "charity". I have done so below, and I encourage each of you to do so also, and to evaluate whether it is true in your life. When we have Godly love for others, it will be true about us.

Suzanne suffereth long, and is kind; Suzanne envieth not; Suzanne vaunteth not (her)self, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave (her)self unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

New Years

Yes, I realize that New Years Day was four days ago, but today is my New Years Day, as it is my BIRTHDAY!!! Being as close as it is to New Years, I wait until my birthday to make any new years resolutions I feel might be necessary. This year, I resolve to be much more mindful of God's blessings in my life.

Over the past few months, I admit that I somewhat lost sight of God's blessings. Sam was sick for so long, and it seemed like nothing was going right. As I look back, though, I realize that there were actually more good things going on than bad things, but I had started focusing on the bad to the point of not noticing the good.

This week, I have made a point to see all the good thing God has done for me and Sam lately. He has worked through friends, co-workers, and family to bless us beyond belief! This year, I resolve to praise Him more for what He does in my life and be more vocal in letting others know what a great God I serve.

As an added bonus, today I have received over 120 birthday wishes through phone calls, emails, text messages, and facebook posts. God has blessed me with the best family and friends, and I am so very grateful!!